well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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