Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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