There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
