I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
vagina is talking i cant
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
