You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
