is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
