I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
