I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
