The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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