Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
