I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
