Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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