I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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