Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
