Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
