I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I want her autograph on my taint
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
