and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
