your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
