If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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