Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
