those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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