I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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