Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
