i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
