you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
