I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
