she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
