That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I touched a dick in church today
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