Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't deserve a penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
