I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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