Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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