please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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