haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
