Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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