How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
