Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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