This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
