Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
