Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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