my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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