I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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