Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
