Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
