i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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