I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
