i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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