Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
