How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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