The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
