My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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