So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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