i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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