Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
