ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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